Confessions

I have a confession to make:

In our household we don’t watch much TV – other than the news – which is on more or less all the time. I still haven’t watched a full episode of American Idol, Amazing Race or any other of the zillion reality shows that are out there. And I don’t plan to do so either. But there is one exception:

I love Project Runway.

Heidi, Tim and Chris (GO CHRIS)

For one hour every Wednesday night, Diane and I sit down in front of the idiot box to watch reality TV. Yep – there, I said it. For you non-fashionistas out there, Project Runway is a TV series on Bravo which focuses on fashion design. I know this sounds bizarre, as I don’t have any idea of what is going on in the fashion industry – neither do I care for that matter (and I dress accordingly), but nevertheless – we totally dig on this show. Heh – we were yelling at the TV last nigh, when our favorite – Chris – the gay Fred Flintstone was booted out.

Primaries

Yep – we’ve been breathing politics the last few months. My man, Obama, is smoking and next Tuesday in TX and OH will be a thriller. Let’s hope this is over after Tuesday, so we can start concentrating on the General in November.

Our next president ? I certainly hope so. I even thought so back in the dark ages (2004).

And here’s my humble advice for the Obama 08 campaign:

• Stay alive. This country seems to be filled to the rim with gun touting nut-cases that do not care about messages of hope, peace and prosperity for all Americans. Yup – I actually fear that something bad can happen.
• Start wearing an American Flag pin again. No – wear 200 of ‘em. The more the merrier and they’ll double as a bulletproof vest as well.
• Pledge Allegiance to the Flag approx 10 times before, during and after a stump.
• Underscore that you pray to JESUS (5 times per stump speech should do it). There has been some confusion regarding your leanings due to your middle name and extended circulation of pictures of you wearing turbans.
• Avoid donning turbans if all possible.
• Do not start sentences with “Look” all the time. It’s almost as annoying as Mr. Straight-Talk Express McCain starting most of his sentences with “My Friends”.
• Denouncing and rejecting Farrakhan isn’t good enough. You must state that you hate, despise, detest, dislike, loathe and execrate the dude and everything he (and his friends) stands for. Hell, you can even throw in that he’s a meanie-pooh for good measure.

Auf Wiedersehen bitches!

Aaargh – this is soooo typical. Around 8:45PM tonight, a total lunar eclipse started here in PA. The weather was perfect for some shooting, and I was not able to locate my %#$@@ tripod. Oh well … I have until Dec. 2010 to purchase a new one.

Here’s a couple of attempts to capture this fascinating phenomena sans tripod. *sigh*

Taken around 9 pm tonight.

This was taken around 10:30 pm I think.

Ya’ll find the originals on Flickr

Alright… I’ll admit it. I’m on my way over to the Dark Side. Late last night, instead of grabbing the usual book from the night stand, I donned my ear buds, flicked the virtual slider on my shiny new black iThingy from Apple and watched a Video Podcast of the Sunday Edition of my favorite Norwegian news broadcast – in bed.

Joey was right. You just can’t put this thing down. The magazine rack in our bathroom has become obsolete. If I (like most people, I presume) feel like checking out the Musician’s Friend catalog’s Pre-Amp section, while I’m simultaneously working on a #2, I just fire up the iPhone’s Safari browser and do the checking online.

An electronic device that can pass the “john test”, has absolutely something going for it.

iPhone – a sexy gadget

The 163 ppi 3 1/2″ touch screen is just plain gorgeous and I’ve never seen anything that seems so … tasteful and “organic” as this touch screen does. I can see why Apple has patented this “MultiTouch” technology. You’ll just have to try one to fully understand what I’m rambling about. It is that good.

Yep – it has its problems, it’s not exactly cheap (to buy or to own) – but I have to say … this is the first cell phone/iGadget that has made me excited.

*flap* *flap* bitches … and damn you, Joey for introducing me to this evil device.

Yesterday afternoon, the company I work for had to close and everybody had to leave for the day, due to a rather nasty plumbing incident. Right after lunch, toilets around the building started to clog up and made rather scary noises. There was also this smell of eminent disaster in the air. And no Joey, I don’t believe it was the phantom sh*tter that had struck again, although he might be partial responsible for the mess. The main responsibility lies with the local power utility guys, whom*) apparently had drilled a hole in the main sewage line leading into our office building.

I still think there should be written an addendum to the company’s rest-room procedures, stating that employees should perform a courtesy flush under certain circumstances. It’s good for the air quality in general and it’ll probably have a positive effect on the plumbing as well. Makes things move along more easily, if you know what I mean…

That’s all for now, but I will return back to this …eh… realm… if you will … in a later posting. I plan to discuss the differences between American and European toilets (or water closets as we Europeans still call them). You see, I had some Norwegian friends over for the holidays, and one of the topics we discussed was the shape of the bowl, the lack of international standards and the implication different bowl shapes would have for normal day-to-day operations.  A god-damn interesting topic, if you ask me.

*) Can I use whom to refer back to the (plural) “utility guys” in the first part of the sentence ?

“No-no-no! It’s the “Friends don’t let friends vote Republican” one we want”, Diane’s trying to explain to the nice but somewhat confused lady at the hotel’s souvenir shop. We’re in Washington DC and trying to find appropriate gifts for friends. The lady’s trying to sell us a “I Heart Bush” button instead (they are on sale). Apparently she’s out of fridge magnets with pro-Democratic slogans. “Me think this is a good omen”, I whisper to Diane as we leave the store.

And after hearing Obama’s victory speech from Iowa the other night, I felt rather hopeful again. I think things are about to change over here. Big-time. Obama’s speech was just fantastic. Woodward called it “Soaring” on Larry King the same night. I’ve heard others refer to Dr. King himself when they’re trying to describe this senator’s oratorical skills.

And while we’re at it, let’s look at the backdrops the candidates had chosen for the Iowa speeches:

Behind Obama you had hundreds of anonymous campaign workers, behind Clinton you had a various assortment of heavyweights (Madeleine Albright, Gen. Clark, Bill Clinton) and behind The “Likable” Huckster (Huckabee – GOP’s new loonie):  Tough-Guy Chuck Norris and a bass guitar (ok, I made up the bass guitar part, but Chuck was for real). Scary.

oh and I almost forgot: Happy New Year Bitches !

…hmf … is this on … ? hello ? *testing* *testing* … ah – it’s working….

A quick update on what’s goin’ down in da hood….

Diane received her acceptance letter from Widener Law school *w00t* She’ll start in August next year. And when she’s done and passes her bar exam, I’ll quit my job and become her full time sexually harassed secretary. I have the first Yellow Pages ad ready: “DBN – Attorney at Law – We Sue For Less! Special this week: Divorce – only $250!! We’ll squeeze the b*tch/*sshole/d*ckwad.”

…and we just finished remodeling of our master bedroom *w00t* Turned out great. The new canopy bed is just awesome. I’m still trying to convince Diane that we should install one of those mosquito nets over the bed – you know – to create some sort of jungle theme (and to keep the dogs out), but I still feel she’s not on the same page as me regarding this project. Oh well …

… and some friends of mine are coming over from Norway around the holidays. *w00t* I’ll do my best to mend the international rift that Dubya and his loonies have created the last years.

…and *w00t* was voted Word of the Year over at Webster.

…and to end this December’s informative posting – a couple of golden nuggets from the excellent Overheard in New York site:

And You Can Suck My Indicative

Queer black man #1: I am stupid, dumb, and crazy.
Queer black man #2: Mmm-hm.
Queer black man #1: But I am not slow. I never was.
Queer black man #2: You never were.
Queer black man #1: I never was.
Queer black man #2: It’s ‘were. I never were.’ I was an English major.
Queer black man #1: It’s, ‘I never was.’ I went to school. You’re speaking some sort of crazy… some crazy Ebonics language.
Queer black man #2: Bitch, you stupid, dumb, and crazy.
Queer black man #1: Mmm-hm, that’s right.

–M10 bus, 110th & CPW

Overheard by: A former English minor, weeping.

Scene from the Latest Remake of The Parent Trap

Lady: Excuse me, but I have my daughter here!
Man: So do I!
Lady, backing out of train: Fine, whatever. Merry Christmas to you.
Man: Yeah, fuck you, too.

–68th & Lex station

Later bitches!

Oh my – last night I stumbled over this video of Radiohead’s take on The Headmaster Ritual by the Smiths. Totally awesome ! Thom Yorke’s Morrissey interpretation is absolutely impeccable.

The Headmaster Ritual is one of my favorite songs from the excellent Meat Is Murder album. Ah – this one takes me back many many years *sigh*

Sir leads the troops
Jealous of youth
Same old suit since 1962

I wanna go home
I don’t wanna stay

“Hang around here for a couple of minutes – I’ll be right back”, Tim from the dealership says as he smartly flicks the red beauty around the corner on his way to the garage area located underneath the showroom.

10 minutes later, I hear a deep roar from below. “Christ”, I think to myself. “Bum-Bum-Bum-Booom” it echoes between the buildings. It’s the deep characteristic sound of the L-shaped Desmo twin made by these crazy wizards from Bologna, Italy. My heart skips a beat and I’m grinning.

I’m at the local Ducati dealership in town. Tim has just returned with a “slightly modified” version of the Termignoni muffler installed on a new Ducati GT 1000. The bike is red (as you know – the fastest color and also undetectable by radars), it’s obnoxiously loud and insanely gorgeous. I think I’m in love.

Now this is how a motorcycle should look like !

The GT 1000 is a member of the new Ducati SportClassics series – a collection of bikes modeled after the original Ducati Sport of the 1970s, but they’re built utilizing all the latest technology the engineers from Bologna could come up with.

I’ve been a big fan of these Ferraris of motorcycles since I was a wee little boy, and after reading an article about the new SportsClassics, I just had to have a lookie up close and personal . The GT 1000 looked even sexier in RL. I politly declined a test ride today, and that probably saved me around $10K and change…

We’ll see next spring … I might become a Ducatista to compensate for the fast approaching grays

Finally some good news. NPR’s headline this fine Friday morning was about Al Gore and IPCC receiving the Nobel Peace Price for their work on global warming.

Congratulations goes to Albert Arnold Gore and the Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change and kudos to the Norwegian Nobel Committee for this years wise choice.

Go Al ! So, now can you start your presidential campaign ? To be honest, we’re not overwhelmingly pleased with any of the candidates so far.

…and over here, right wing flat-earthers (and trust me, there are many of ‘em) are very upset about the whole ordeal – another reason to be happy about the Nobel Committee’ outstanding work

While Diane’s having fun in Richmond, Virginia – she’s attending the “The 2007 International Licensing Professionals Guild’s Conference” (or something like that, all I know is that they’re partying hard and destroying hotel rooms) – I’m home alone with the boys, playing video games. Although I would prefer having my wife at home, it’s jolly nice to have full unrestricted access to our jumbo sized HDTV with supermega surround system cranked and a XBox 360 hooked up to it.

I rented the new Halo 3 game to see what all the media coverage lately was about. After 1 hour as the Master Chief, trying to save the world, I took it back to the rental shop. As far as I could tell, the game offered more or less the same game play as before, but with nicer graphics … nothing spectacular though. Quite frankly, I found the single player mode boring and my wireless game adapter acted up, so I wasn’t able to test the multi-player aspect of the game. I might give it a shot again down the road.

Master Chief ready for work… but oh so booooring …

While returning the Halo game, I noticed a copy of BioShock in the xBox 360 shelves at the video store. Having read a couple of raving reviews, I thought I might give it a try.

And oh my oh my … I’m telling ya… Bioshock is a work of art. With its glorious Art-Deco style art-work, sublime sound effects and captive storyline, it will lure the player (you) into its twisted and brutal world of “Little Sisters” and “Big Daddies”. The main story takes place in a bizarre Ayn Randsk world built beneath the sea for a selected group of scientists, artists and industrialists (built by a figure named Andrew Ryan btw ).

I guess you can think of Bioshock as a FPS/RPG for grown-ups. Go and get it!

A Big Daddy and a Little Sister discussing Rand’s concept of “Rational Self-Interest”